my lil exorcist

*content warning: eating disorders, violence, self-harm, bodily functions*

i suspect there’s a part of me that would enjoy

being ruthlessly punched in the face.

something about a visceral release

that loss of control

the excretion of fluid

seems to rev

my

engine.

“fuck, Alexis. you came so many times.”

yeah.

and i sneeze in bouts of eight.

love that feeling of release

when nothing has ahold of me

body uncontrollably

writhing under lightning bolts.

i love a violent burp

or that

catharsis of an emptying bladder.

what’s madder

than reanimating snacks

3am, at your own hand?

how about your body

doing so at your command?

i expect one day I’ll die in a gory, gruesome way.

i drive quite poorly, after all.

and maybe that will be the ultimate release.

my head popped off

blood pouring out

and my brain finally

turning

Off.

Alexis Rhodes (she/her) is a queer, polyamorous poet, playwright, performer, and strategist based in North Carolina. Her poetry has been described as raw and confessional, with just enough humor to lighten the mood. Alexis has been published with Drip Lit Magazine, Orange Rose Literary Magazine, The Words Faire, Blood+Honey, and Wayfarer Magazine, and has forthcoming publications with Action,Spectacle, Writers Resist, Moon Tide Press, Ghost Light Lit, Phylum Press, and Half and One. She has completed five anthologies: Notes on a Narcissist, LONGING, Goddess, Spiked Crowns, and lex, your poetry’s grotesque and is submitting to presses. Alexis lives with her husband, two kids, and a hedgehog named Hedge. Instagram: @alexis_writes_things